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Fat asses who fill up their coke and don't get out of the way to put the lid on and the straw in

12 comments

why did this make the list, when so many of mine were way better? is it because i didn't say anything about fat asses?
Posted by rac on 05/15/01

No kidding. Maybe Dack used to be fat.
Posted by John on 05/15/01

Using the term "fat asses" definitely improve the odds of having your submission posted.

But in this case is was the part about moving out of the way that was worthy of a post.

Posted by dack on 05/15/01

I think this one deserves to be posted, and that's coming from a guy whose suckage also has not been posted.

I'd add fat asses who get into an elevator first, push the button for their floor and then don't step back to let others press their floors.

(Note: You don't technically have to be fat to be a "fat ass" but it certainly gets you closer)

Posted by Yeper on 05/15/01

How many times has this happened to you when the motherfucker wasn't fat? Probably not too many. That's just it, fat people are fat because they're slow, dumb and stupid. Plus they don't give a shit. You might also find the occasional soccer mom encouraging her brat kid who has to fill up the fucking soda by himself or he'll pitch a fit. "Go ahead, Timmy, fill it up. Good boy!!! Now put a lid on it. No, other way. Good boy!! Now put the straw in. Take the paper off first. Good boy!!!" Elapsed time: 5 minutes. Your blood pressure (assuming you're a normal human being who has shit to do): up 20%
Posted by Herschel on 05/15/01

aren't there better things to waste time being angry at?
Posted by sean on 05/15/01

New Suck List submission: "grossly fat kids who are pandered to by their weak, eager-to-please parents".
Posted by wright on 05/16/01

I'm not fat, I'm just big-boned.
Posted by Cookie on 05/16/01

and big-assed
Posted by sean on 05/16/01

I just want to put my foot in the middle of their back and then slam them against the coke machine. THe cokes, ice, and that tray that holds all the drippage will fly all over them. They will say "What the hell was that for?" You dont answer. You just beat them, till they cant talk anymore. Then feel free to get your drink.
Posted by Michael on 05/18/01

When I see a news article about a horrible tragedy happening to someone, I don't really feel bad if it was a fat person. Deep, down inside...I feel like they deserved it.
Posted by Brian on 06/12/01

I can't believe you people. If ANY of you assholes saying fat people "deserve" the abuse they get are in their teens or twenties, you may have an interesting little surprise later on in life. You'll, say, have an accident. You're thin, right? You didn't deserve it. You will find you are laid up for half a year in recovery and emerge 50 pounds heavier. Or maybe you'll get that way from some medication you take. There are new reports that obesity has its cause somewhere in the liver. Do you drink alcohol? Maybe you'd better stop, then. (Come to think of it there are a LOT of fat alcoholics...) Or maybe it will just happen to you when you are working overtime so many days every week to pay off your credit card bills that you are exhausted and never have those two hours a day to go to the gym anymore. Say this goes on for five or six years...and when you hit middle age you will realize you gained about 80 or 90 pounds and wonder HOW COULD THIS HAVE HAPPENED TO ME? It's Divine Retribution, jerk. And you've already all got fatter asses than I do because your heads all seem to be permanently glued there.
Posted by zina on 08/12/01


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