dack.com  
 home | golf | booze | film | music | stocks | web | misc  archive 
 
you are here: dack.com > web > web economy bullshit generator
inside web:
/web overview
The excellent intranet cost analyzer
Best practices for designing shopping cart and checkout interfaces
Flash is evil
The web economy bullshit generator
Flash vs. HTML: a usability test

Web Economy Bullshit Generator
JavaScript provided by DHTML Diva Leslie Lee
Instructions:
1. Click the make bullshit button.
2. Watch bullshit appear in the box.
3. Repeat to taste (use your Enter/Return key).

verbs adjectives nouns
aggregate
architect
benchmark
brand
cultivate
deliver
deploy
disintermediate
drive
e-enable
embrace
empower
enable
engage
engineer
enhance
envisioneer
evolve
expedite
exploit
extend
facilitate
generate
grow
harness
implement
incentivize
incubate
innovate
integrate
iterate
leverage
matrix
maximize
mesh
monetize
morph
optimize
orchestrate
productize
recontextualize
redefine
reintermediate
reinvent
repurpose
revolutionize
scale
seize
strategize
streamline
syndicate
synergize
synthesize
target
transform
transition
unleash
utilize
visualize
whiteboard
24/365
24/7
B2B
B2C
back-end
best-of-breed
bleeding-edge
bricks-and-clicks
clicks-and-mortar
collaborative
compelling
cross-platform
cross-media
customized
cutting-edge
distributed
dot-com
dynamic
e-business
efficient
end-to-end
enterprise
extensible
frictionless
front-end
global
granular
holistic
impactful
innovative
integrated
interactive
intuitive
killer
leading-edge
magnetic
mission-critical
next-generation
one-to-one
open-source
out-of-the-box
plug-and-play
proactive
real-time
revolutionary
rich
robust
scalable
seamless
sexy
sticky
strategic
synergistic
transparent
turn-key
ubiquitous
user-centric
value-added
vertical
viral
virtual
visionary
web-enabled
wireless
world-class
action-items
applications
architectures
bandwidth
channels
communities
content
convergence
deliverables
e-business
e-commerce
e-markets
e-services
e-tailers
experiences
eyeballs
functionalities
infomediaries
infrastructures
initiatives
interfaces
markets
methodologies
metrics
mindshare
models
networks
niches
paradigms
partnerships
platforms
portals
relationships
ROI
synergies
web-readiness
schemas
solutions
supply-chains
systems
technologies
users
vortals
web services

Here's what the critics are saying:

Your site is brilliant! The bullshit generator made me feel right at home!
— Josh K.

I love the web bullshit generator. I've been dared to write a spec for our site that includes at least one per paragraph — it's too tempting not to take the challenge. Thanks!!
— Nicholas H.

This is very clever, but your verbs are often real verbs. As anyone who has worked in a web-related business for two months (as I have) knows, most verbs are not verbs at all, but nouns.
— David S.

This is awesome! I spend most of my time at company meetings keeping notes of corpspeak and lingo, always looking out for new buzzwords. My favorite practice is the verbing of nouns, as well as the flexibility of the verb "leverage." Apparently you can leverage anything.
— Eric M.

Congratulations! So simple yet so elegantly fecal!
— Peter L.

"Seize mission-critical convergence" — I just about peed in my pants! Great stuff!
— Larry C.

Thanks for bringing so much pleasure to so many with your one-click make-bullshit™ technology.
— Jeremy S.

I'm gonna copy and paste this stuff when I get to writing my own business plan. Cool stuff.
— anonymous

Do you realize you are going to crash 99% of the Internet Strategy Consultancy? Shut down the Generator as soon as possible, please, or we'll need to look for another job...!!!
— Piero T.

I am considering initiating action toward your organization on the basis of copyright infringement on my last twelve RFPs. I'll have my people call your people.
— Paul Z.

You have done a masterful job in the ongoing effort to "deploy innovative content."
— Marshall B.

wow, if only we could all evolve vertical relationships; imagine a world in which innovative front-end technologies ceaselessly synergize turn-key networks; it would be a landslide, a paradigm shift, a breakpoint. Now all I need to do is visualize my bleeding-edge niches and I will be complete...
— Grayson C.

I laughed so hard my paradigm shifted and I spent a week in the hospital.
— Mark S.

A great resource for IT executives and their speechwriters.
—Stuart S.

Using the Bullshit Generator, we were able to replace our entire marketing staff. Thanks!
—Jay B.

The Web Bullshit Generator is phenomenal...my resume never looked so good!
—Cory L.

This is a great job interview prep tool and provides fodder to use on chicks at the bar. I'm also going to use this in preparation for my high school reunion.
—Ryan F.

OH-MY-GOD!!! The CEO and "SENIOR MANAGEMENT" of my company have been discovered!!! I haven't had this good of a laugh since I heard about Monica Lewinsky and cigars!!!
—Joyce C.

Since I emailed the dack.com bullshit generator URL around the office, my managers coincidentally "wax dack" at least once a day! They now articulate such "thought leadership" to the workers for e-business convergence.....
—Josh M.

[the bullshit generator is] A huge step forward in the psychology of understanding the evolution between real human beings and the offshoot bloodline that spawns Executive Managers and their ilk. In another few years we should be able to understand and emulate their thought process so well we can replace them with computers and promptly put a strategy into place to cleanse the world of their evil presence. Great work - you've given hope to all of us who are not despicable shit breathing liars. Thanks Dack!
—Kip M.

The Bullshit Generator is quite droll. I love it.

The Norman conquest served to enrich the English language, but the onslaught of business and academia threatens to diminish our language to the point where only vulgarities will have any fucking meaning.
—Joel M.

Useful...but our organization already "unleashed" a whole bunch of "back-end portals".
—anonymous

Are you sure you don't have your server plugged into my former supervisor's head? I think she IS the source code, or at least she's serving your content..
—Kat O.

Dude, you just wrote my next white paper. But "David S." is right -- you need to turn more nouns into verbs. Er, I should say you need to renounize your legacy verbs into the optimal solution.
—Thomas C.

Just to think I spent 25K with the SMU Executive MBA program when all I needed to do was log on.
—Mike W.

The bullshit generator is bullshit. I saw the same stuff 10 years ago.
—anonymous


email: dack@dack.com© 1978-2012 dack.com