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2006 Q2

June 28, 2006

Why the Democrats are a steaming pile of shit: their Senate minority leader, Harry Reid, votes yea on the asinine flag burning amendment. Jesus.

The only silver lining is the joke Orrin Hatch is denied once again.

Serious question: when is the last time anyone saw an American flag being burned, not counting in Iraq or Afghanistan? Is there a single incident of flag burning in the lower 48 since 9/11?

June 27, 2006

CFS Mashup

The big news around these parts is I'm 1-for-1 in film festival submissions. Last April ('05) I shot a short comedy/office-samurai movie called Cube Farm Samurai. Last winter I finally got around to editing it, and on a whim submitted it to the Wild River Festival to be held in early September in St. Paul. Maybe they were hurting for submissions, but it's been accepted. Al Green is performing at some point, so even if the film section is held in a Biffy, we can groove to Let's Stay Together.

The star of the show is Adam Sellke, as the samurai, pictured below. [SPOILER ALERT!!] Besides ripping your head off if you check voicemail on speakerphone, Adam will also rip your entire CD collection to MP3 over at Ripshark.

CFS Still

June 26, 2006

FeingoldI worked alongside Russ Feingold (well, sorta) years ago when I was a lowly Wisconsin Senate page, and he didn't seem like presidential timber at the time, but watching him yesterday on Meet the Press, he is now.


This is one of my favorite times of the year (and not just because I can play golf until almost 10PM): summer sales. Barney's Co-op is blowing out and I went slightly fucking nuts. All In the Bag:

Citizens of 

Citizens of Humanity "Jagger - Santiago" jeans. $158.


Rogan short-sleeve western shirt. $69.


Trovata cargo shorts. $79. Trovata is cool as shit.

Rag and Bone

Rag and Bone "daggers" t-shirt. $29.

June 22, 2006

Click The Adam Sandler comedy Click opens tomorrow, and its premise is essentially something I wrote about in this space about 18 months ago: Tivo for Life. I kinda doubt Click is about hot moms in low-rise jeans and thongs, but here's the post repeated in its entirety:

Tivo. For Life.Can you get Tivo installed in the brain?

I've had a Tivo-like device for a very long time now, and while I don't record a whole lot, I'm a huge fan of rewinding the tape to watch a play again or catch a good quote I partially missed. It's become such a habit that over the past year or so I've found myself looking for the Rewind button on the car radio. Lately, there's been a weird urge to find the Rewind button for life experiences. Like on Saturday, at a birthday party for my son's friend, there was this tall, thin Yummy Mummy in skin-tight Seven Jeans who bent over to pick up her daughter, exposing her thong. My impulse was to reach for the remote and watch the scene again, maybe even pausing for a while.

Someone please help me. Tivo?


Rallied by Bush, Skittish G.O.P. Now Embraces War as Issue

Go for it, dudes. Iraq's an abortion.

June 19, 2006

Of Napalm, Ripped Guns, and Flat Stomachs

I was watching Apocalypse Now for about the 27th time last night, and realized Robert Duvall was 47 years old when he shot this scene. Here's to looking like this at 47 ... or even 37. Or 27 for that matter.

Loving the smell of napalm in the morning

June 15, 2006

Nacho LibreI'm a bit sheepish about it, mainly because it's not a good movie, but I love Napoleon Dynamite. Totally fucking awful critics, like Roger Ebert, didn't like it, and the haters now have the knives out for Jared Hess's follow-up, Nacho Libre, some even calling it racist:

It's a comedy made by people who seem to think they're doing more than they're doing, which is making a mildly offbeat Adam Sandler comedy with an innocuous racist tinge of Mexicans-are-good-for-a-cheap-laugh sarcasm.
June 14, 2006

Now here's something I'd like to see more of. One-time pro-war pundits admitting that the war on Iraq was/is dumb, and that they were wrong.

We are stuck there in that wretched place with no way out that would not involve massive loss of geostrategic face. Getting on for 3,000 of our troops have been killed, and close to 20,000 maimed. We've spent untold billions of dollars. For what?
June 13, 2006


Chunky Soup

Roethlisberger was scheduled to film a national television ad for Campbell's Chunky Soup with his mother, Brenda, and some of his Steelers teammates today.


Netflix! Boo! Hiss! Now with banner ads.


I'm really not down with the idea of a paid service showing ads. It's the brick-and-mortar equivalent of sitting through a pitch for Best Buy or Coke after I paid $9 to watch Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector.

June 12, 2006

While I continue my search -- or more appropriately, quest -- for these Neil Barrett kicks, I found these passable Ponys at a small fraction of the price.

In The Bag:

Pony Kicks

Black Pony "Max" sneakers, via nordstrom.com. $44 (on sale).


Only in America. Three inmates at Gitmo kill themselves -- something I would've managed to do about 3 years ago -- and it's an attack on America. Head warden Harry B. Harris Jr.:

They are smart, they are creative, they are committed. They have no regard for life, neither ours nor their own. I believe this was not an act of desperation, but an act of asymmetrical warfare waged against us.

Not just an attack, but an asymmetrical attack, dammit!

June 6, 2006

Jeepers. That kidnapping of 56 people in Iraq yesterday happened within sight of Iraq's Ministry of Justice.

Seems that an America-hating rag like the New York Times was being too kind on Sunday, when they said insurgents have pushed "nearly to the heart of the city":

The killings are a grim illustration of how badly security has deteriorated in and around Baghdad. Insurgents easily set up roadblocks on highways and have pushed through western Baghdad, nearly to the heart of the city. Russian Embassy workers were seized on Saturday near a prominent social club that was safe a year ago.


9 Heads in a Box

More from Iraq:

Bananas: 3.50 Iraqi Dinars (ID)/lb.
Tomatoes: ID2.75/lb.
Dates: ID4.10/lb.
Heads: Free

On Sunday: "The area, around Baquba, has become one of the most violent in Iraq. The authorities found eight heads on a road there Saturday, which they moved to a hospital in banana boxes."

Today: "According to authorities, the heads were wrapped in black plastic bags and shoved into fruit boxes. Their identities could not be immediately confirmed."

June 1, 2006

The Break UpI noticed Vince Vaughn's growing fatness in the retrograde Wedding Crashers, but not nearly as colorfully the LA Weekly's Joe Donnelly in his scathing review of The Break-Up:

Too bad both Vaughn and Favreau appear to have eaten every Vienna Beef dog in Chicago while making this film, thus rendering "Swingers 2" an unlikely possibility.

That is so not money.

May 31, 2006

Might've been wrong about The War Tapes. The Village Voice's Michael Atkinson, one of the best in the business, calls it "the cinematic equivalent to a ribbon magnet." In that case, the New York Post will love it!

May 30, 2006

The War TapesFlying in way, way under the movie-release rader is The War Tapes, yet another Iraq war documentary, but this time with a twist (er, gimmick?). The filmmaker, Deborah Scranton, gave video cameras to three National Guardsmen and just had them document their experiences. In Anbar province. The trailer is great. The initial reviews are positive.

Fearless dack.com prediction: The New York Post will assign former Marine and "film critic" Kyle Smith to review the movie, and he'll trash it for being a piece of left-wing propaganda. You watch.


There's buzz around my household that skulls are headed post-peak. I just don't want to believe it's true, especially when there are skulls and lions and flowers on this sweet Diesel shirt. And a skull on the collar point for good measure. In The Bag:

Diesel Skulls

DIESEL® 'Todes' Graphic Polo, via nordstrom.com. $45.

May 29, 2006

Those ungrateful little brown bastards.

Riot Erupts in Kabul After U.S. Traffic Accident

Hundreds of protesters marched on the palace of U.S.-backed President Hamid Karzai in the city center after the incident, shouting "Death to Karzai! Death to America!"

See Also: Springtime for Killing in Afghanistan

May 26, 2006

There are, indeed, a few good men. About the marine massacre in Haditha:

Military investigators have since uncovered a far different set of facts from what was first reported, partly aided by marines who are cooperating with the inquiry and partly guided by reports filed by a separate unit that arrived to gather intelligence and document the attack; those reports contradicted the original version of the marines, Pentagon officials said.
May 25, 2006

Any time an apparel item combines Jebus with skulls -- no matter what the price -- it's got to go into Heavy Consideration:

Sweet Jebus

Sweet Jebus belt buckle with skulls! Via yoox.com. $124.


Neil Barrett

Yoox once had these Neil Barrett shoes, and now they're gone. It's my life's mission to find them. (Size 13 please.)

May 23, 2006

Finally got around to watching Baghdad ER last night. Shrub should definitely watch it. In the first 30 seconds is this:

Missing Arm


It took a taxpayer-funded study to figure out supply and demand:

Gas Prices Legitimate, Study Says

Despite suspicions among consumers about rapidly rising gasoline prices and record oil industry profits, a federal investigation concluded Monday that the jump at the pump over the last year had not been the result of unlawful price manipulation.
May 19, 2006

Freedom Once Again on the March in out of Iraq!

A few weeks ago it was Shiites and Sunnis living as refugees because of sectarian violence. Now the middle class is upping the ante, doing anything to get the fuck out of Iraq entirely.

"The main thing now is to just get out of Iraq," said Mr. Bahjat, standing in a room heaped with suitcases and bedroom furniture in eastern Baghdad.

In the latest indication of the crushing hardships weighing on the lives of Iraqis, increasing portions of the middle class seem to be doing everything they can to leave the country. In the last 10 months, the state has issued new passports to 1.85 million Iraqis, 7 percent of the population and a quarter of the country's estimated middle class.


In the other glorious Bush Administration success: Afghanistan Rocked As 105 Die in Violence

May 18, 2006

A layup:

Washington Post: Human Ancestors May Have Interbred With Chimpanzees

Bush or Chimp?

Courtesy of bushorchimp.com.


May these fuckers rot in hell. (The marines, not the dead kids.)

Pentagon report said to find killing of Iraqi civilians deliberate

The uncle of one survivor, a 13-year-old girl, told Knight Ridder that the girl had watched the Marines open fire on her family and that she had held her 5-year-old brother in her arms as he died. The girl shook visibly as her uncle relayed her account, too traumatized to recount what happened herself.


"One man was killed with an IED," [John] Murtha said, referring to a Marine killed by the roadside bomb. "And after that, they actually went into the houses and killed women and children."
May 17, 2006

Back to Iraq? Been there, done that. Now it's time to go back to Somalia:

More than a decade after U.S. troops withdrew from Somalia following a disastrous military intervention, officials of Somalia's interim government and some U.S. analysts of Africa policy say the United States has returned to the African country, secretly supporting secular warlords who have been waging fierce battles against Islamic groups for control of the capital, Mogadishu.

Got me thinking ... are we now supporting the same guys who dragged US troops through the streets of Mogadishu? Believe-it-or-fucking-not: Yep.

Many of the warlords have their own agendas, Somali officials said, and some reportedly fought against the United States in 1993 during street battles that culminated in an attack that downed two U.S. Black Hawk helicopters and left 18 Army Rangers dead.


Completely asinine US foreign policy decisions get me in the mood to consume.

In The Bag. Left Field rocks. Cushy-soft long-sleeve T with an image of a beer and a football player on the tee vee; to be worn during the work week, not just on Sundays:

Left Field long sleeve Sunday Do Nothing T, via yoox.com. $48.00

May 15, 2006

I reckon there is nothing that makes you feel more like a man -- and I mean capital M, capital A, capital N -- than throwing a hard, tight spiral with an official-size NFL/NCAA football. (It's especially sweet watching the rotation of the white stripes on the college ball.)

In The Bag:

Wilson F1005

Wilson F1005R NCAA Game Ball Football, via amazon.com. $64.99

May 12, 2006

It's like a reverse auction. Do I hear 29%? Yep.


Goal! The Dream BeginsA Disney feel-good sports drama gets rightly savaged:

An against-all-odds fairy tale of the hoariest kind, "Goal! The Dream Begins" runs through sports movie clichés with all the subtlety, style, and originality of a kick to the shins.

-- Slant Magazine's Nick Schager

May 9, 2006

Burn, baby, burn: Bush approval rating hits new low. 31%. Disapproval rating at new high: 65%.

His dad's lowest approval rating was 32%. Clinton's 36%. Next target: Carter's 28%. Pushing Nixon's 24% might cause Extreme Schadenfreude overload.


The Da Vinci CodeI ain't never liked Tom Hanks. It's not the kind of viceral hatred I have for a completely talentless hack like Ben Affleck (who I'd pay money to see beaten like a piñata), but Hanks -- whose best work was in Bosom Buddies and possibly Bachelor Party -- is a middling actor, cast in (mostly) middling movies, perfect for a middlebrow entertainment-consuming public that makes Jay Leno the #1 late-night talk show host. And now there's even more reason to pour scorn on the bastard: he gets to co-star with the babelicious Frenchwoman and très hot Audrey Tautou, who's the Gallic-second-coming of Audrey Hepburn, a babe for all-time. I think there may even be a love scene involved. Fucker.

Doing a bit of Googling on the subject of the love scene, I see that Tautou came to the correct conclusion that Hanks is fully average. Initially while working on The Da Vinci Code she was star struck, but then:

"While I was being made up and sat there next to Tom, I laughed nervously. I really felt as if this was a joke - it didn't seem reasonable to be part of my life. I felt kind of out of place next to these people. It did take a while until I wasn't impressed any more."


In The Bag:


Overthrow : America's Century of Regime Change from Hawaii to Iraq, via amazon.com. $17.33.

See also: an excellent Democracy Now interview with author Stephen Kinzer. Part I | Part II


In The Bag:

Adidas Modo Del Mar

Adidas Modo Del Mar, via adidasgolf.com. $90.

May 5, 2006

An American HauntingAnd another addition to the running list of savage critics:

Things go bump in the night in this 19th-century ghost story, but it's the bump of emptying seats, as audiences flee in boredom, that will haunt you for days.

-- New York Times's Nathan Lee

May 4, 2006

Calling all cynical bastards!

Easily the best idea that's come through email in 2006 comes from Josh Katinger, who's suggesting a "Web 2.0" (wretch) version of the bullshit generator. He has a few suggested nouns. We need verbs and adjectives, please! (Updated as they trickle in.)

verbs adjectives nouns
web 2.0
social tagging
social software
RSS feeds


Skinny Jeans

Today the Times reports on the skinny jeans trend. In the article reporter Eric Wilson cites Keith Richards, Iggy Pop, Nick Cave, and the Ramones.

Earlier this year dack.com gave the skinny trend a thumbs-down and wrote:

Skinny is clearly in for '06. Skinny lapels, skinny belts, skinny shoes, skinny shirts. Skinny jeans may work on occasion if you're a drug-addled rock-and-roller, but if you're a regular guy it's just going to make your ass look fat.
May 3, 2006

The Bush foreign policy is, like, the reverse Midas touch:

Taliban Threat Is Said to Grow in Afghan South

"The Taliban and Al Qaeda are everywhere..."


Iraq, Afghanistan Among Top Ten Failed States

The latest index appears to raise serious questions about basic tenet of U.S. foreign policy under President George W. Bush -- that democratic elections necessarily bolster state stability. Despite "successful" elections carried out in both Iraq and Afghanistan, stability appears to have deteriorated in both countries, according to the Foreign Policy analysis.
April 28, 2006

I never thought I'd be using this space to praise a Charles Krauthammer column, but man, is he right. Worse than Dubai ports. It's supply and demand, stupids!

April 27, 2006

RVAdd this to the running list of critic savagery.

In "RV," the downwardly spiraling career trajectories of Robin Williams and director Barry Sonnenfeld intertwine like the ropes of a tangled parachute, and all the helpless viewer can do is look on aghast as the whole abortive fiasco plummets toward Earth.

-- LA Weekly's John Patterson

April 26, 2006

Under Consideration:


J.Fold "Roadster" in nubuck with sky blue stripes, via jfold.com. $60.

April 25, 2006

ConfusedYesterday the preznit said he still would've invaded Iraq "knowing what I know today."

I've chalked up the 40% of Americans who still say the war in Iraq was a good idea to a combination of the 26% who think we found WMD there and the 41% who think Saddam Hussein was Osama bin Laden's bitch -- essentially people who don't know what's going on.

But presumably, because he's the preznit and all, Bush knows those things to be false (though he's repeatedly said Saddam didn't let the inspectors in).

Given the knowledge that Iraq was not a threat to American security, he still would've sent 2,390 of his countrymen to their graves? This time I hope he's lying.


I freely admit I'm a Camper Whore, with that brand taking up about 1/2 of my footwear collection. And I'm sucked in again:

Camper Sandals

Camper sandals with "contact earth" system that discharges electrostatic energy. Via zappos.com. $148. Some please call the pedicurist!

April 24, 2006

About the last thing I need right now is an angry Muslim named Omran who wants a piece of me. I make an in jest comment about a hot broadcaster from Abu Dhabi TV and he writes in:

TO: dack@dack.com
FROM: Omran Arif



Now that I finally figured out how to use the site, I'm spending an inordinate amount of time at yoox.com. It's like Bluefly with almost exclusively boutique I-talian designers. This might be a bit much but somehow I'm strangely attracted:

Sequin Fist

MET long-sleeve tee with embroidered fist surrounded by purple sequins. $58. POW!

April 20, 2006

Damn, Shrub's mistake is fucking expensive:

The cost of the war in U.S. fatalities has declined this year, but the cost in treasure continues to rise, from $48 billion in 2003 to $59 billion in 2004 to $81 billion in 2005 to an anticipated $94 billion in 2006, according to the Center for Strategic and Budgetary Assessments. The U.S. government is now spending nearly $10 billion a month in Iraq and Afghanistan, up from $8.2 billion a year ago, a new Congressional Research Service report found.
April 19, 2006

Instinct 2It's still only April, but easily the biggest bomb of 2006 -- and it's going to be tough to beat -- is Basic Instinct 2. A $70 million budget and so far it's grossed just $5.8 million. Released only 2.5 weeks ago, it's already gone from every theater in the greater Minneapolis/St. Paul area.

I reckon Sharon Stone won't get a chance to fulfill her wish to direct Basic Instinct 3.

April 18, 2006

AJAX Run Amok

Just like they did in '96 with frames, '97 with Flash, and '98/'99 with DHTML, the usability wonks need to saddle up and take on the wave of ridiculously bad implementations of AJAX. A prominent case in point is what Netflix recently unleashed on users: an AJAX-ified "add to queue" feature. Used to be you clicked the "Add" button and you went to a new page that said the movie was added to your queue. Now it's much better. You click "Add" and you get an annoying faded out splash screen...

bad ajax

... and then a big fucking huge annoying DIV you need to use your mouse to close.

bad ajax

This is progress? More like reverse.

April 17, 2006

Scary Movie 4Is it any wonder Scary Movie 5 is already set for an Easter 2007 release? $41 million in three days, setting a record for Easter weekend, critics be damned.

Hard to believe the guy who did Airplane! is behind the franchise. He must want to shoot himself ... except for the millions he keeps getting paid.

April 13, 2006

Three cheers to Washington Post reporter Joby Warrick. His bombshell article on yesterday's front page nearly caused Scott McClellan to have a stroke at yesterday's briefing, and had White House hacks running around sending "Setting the Record Straight" emails to reporters.

Warrick is assigned today's follow-up and rather than wilt gets in these two jabs, like a Larry Holmes 1-2 punch, essentially saying, quietly, "fuck off":

In the statements, the White House does not deny the existence of the technical team's report but portrays it as a preliminary finding, contrasting that report with a public white paper put out by the CIA on May 28, 2003. The CIA paper described the trailers as the "strongest evidence to date that Iraq was hiding a biological warfare program."

The White House provided a "link" to a CIA Web site where the white paper is still posted, nearly 18 months after its conclusions were refuted by the Iraq Survey Group.

The White House statement also cites the 2005 Robb-Silberman commission report on intelligence failures related to Iraqi weapons. That report criticizes the intelligence agencies for "bureaucratic resistance to admitting error" as evidence showed Iraqi weapons claims to be unfounded.


Cargo is dead, but ironically they did their best work in their swan song. The May issue has an especially inspired piece on updated golf attire. Lots of this stuff is cut from the "urban grandpa" brand I've been attempting to make work on the links for a couple of years. Click images to enlarge.


Absolutely Sick!

St. Andrews Print Golf Pant, via penguinclothing.com. $129.99.

April 12, 2006

Is it any wonder why more than 1 in 4 Americans still believe Saddam had WMD when the US invaded?

Lacking Biolabs, Trailers Carried Case for War

In 2003, Bush administration pushed the notion of banned Iraqi weapons made in mobile "biological laboratories" despite evidence to the contrary.
April 11, 2006

Ray McGovern, former CIA analyst, puts together the best-yet history and timeline of intelligence cooking, yellowcake from Niger, Joe Wilson, Scooter Libby, Judith Miller, Colin Powell, Richard Cheney, and Pat Fitzgerald.


Why does Newt Gingrich hate America?

April 10, 2006

The hits just keep on comin':

Bush's Job Approval Rating Continues to Swoon

Nearly six in 10--58 percent--currently say the war was not worth the cost while nearly half say they "strongly" feel the conflict wasn't worth fighting. The latest result marked the 13th consecutive Post-ABC survey since December 2004 in which a majority of Americans has questioned the value of U.S. involvement in Iraq.


Jon HederYeeeeouch!

It would seem the Times' Manohla Dargis doesn't think much of Jon Heder. Her Benchwarmers review over the weekend:

...dumber being Clark, a booger-eating mama's boy played by Jon Heder, using up the last of the 15 minutes he squeezed out of "Napoleon Dynamite."
April 7, 2006

I love the smell of Extreme Schadenfreude in the morning:

Bush, GOP Approval Ratings Find New Lows

Just 36 percent of the public approves of Bush's job performance, his lowest-ever rating in AP-Ipsos polling. By contrast, the president's job approval rating was 47 percent among likely voters just before Election Day 2004 and a whopping 64 percent among registered voters in October 2002.


Just 35 percent of the public approves of Bush's handling of Iraq, his lowest in AP-Ipsos polling. "He's in over his head," said Diane Heller, 65, a Pleasant Valley, N.Y., real estate broker and independent voter.
April 6, 2006

A couple of days ago a site called Productdose picked the Top 10 Coolest Laptop Cases, and since dack.com did a couple of laptop bag posts a while back (and I haven't made a purchasing desicion yet), I'm making a list of everything that came through the comments for your flipping/shopping pleasure.

First, the likely target of my conspicuous consuming love:

Knomo Frinton

Absolutely freakin' beautiful Knomo Frinton 17" Messenger Bag. Via knomobags.com eshop. £165.

And here are the rest:


Yo Creationists: Suck It!

Evolution, Bitches!

April 4, 2006

CargoI've had a lot of bad ideas in my life, but perhaps the worst idea was one I came up with about 14 months ago: With the launch of several new men's magazines, combined with old standbys like GQ and Esquire, I thought it'd be a good idea to create a web site that was sort of a meta-men's magazine, where each pub's best style picks could all be found in one place. Trends could be identified, and then avoided.

Well, it turns out the "metrosexual" was a media creation, and apparently the only guys who admit to caring about how they look are gays and blacks. Vitals, a quarterly I really liked, shuttered last September and now the lower-rent Cargo is closing up shop in May. (I blame it on the decision to put Nick Lachey on the cover.)

Seems as though men don't need magazines to help them shop; most just have their wives do it.

April 3, 2006

NYTThe New York Times rolled out a new design on Sunday, and besides turning the Simplicity dial about two notches past 11, my biggest problem with it is the use of Georgia everywhere. I really don't have anything against Georgia, but there are certain principles you just don't violate. For example, weblogs need to be in too-small Verdana, and news needs to be in Times New Roman (or perhaps Arial). Period.

Furthermore, according to at least one font analysis study from a great old resource called Usability News, Times (and perhaps Arial) is read faster:

Post hoc analysis indicated that both Times and Arial were read significantly faster than Courier, Schoolbook, and Georgia.

Do some Chinese math and the Times, by choosing Georgia, may have a significant negative impact on America's GDP.


Egomaniacal DouchebagI love Project Runway and am currently addicted to Top Chef, but can someone please explain the appeal of Blow Out with egomaniacal douchebag Jonathan Antin? Bravo TV is running an unfortunate promo for Season 3 where Jonny says, "I am so over me." Dude! If that's how you feel, imagine what we think.


Speaking of reality TV, here's a new pitch for Bravo to replace Blow Out, kind of a different take on E's Dr. 90210: Blown Up! Dr. Combat Support Hospital in Baghdad. Show the multiple surgeries, limb removal, and painful recovery of the victims of the stupidest fucking war in history. A huge hit in the making!

Blown Up In Iraq

See also: William F. Buckley says Shrub will be judged on the Iraq war, which he calls a "failure." Sayeth Buckley: "If he'd invented the Bill of Rights it wouldn't get him out of his jam."

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